Don't Retreat....Reload?

One of Bush's wars is over....

Gimme that old time religion!

Can I buy a Canadian?

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. 

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura.

Dear Dr. Laura: 

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.  I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination . End of debate. 

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 

 

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?
 
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
 
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual unseemliness - Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 

 

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbours.  They claim the odour is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them?
 
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
 
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don't agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
 
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
 
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?
 
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
 
10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.  Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
 
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
 
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
 
Your adoring fan,

 
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

Truly important news department...

The New Scourge of the internet: People With Nothing Better to do but criticize the spelling in other people's "tweets"

excerpted from:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/29/fashion/29twitter.html

...A small but vocal subculture has emerged on Twitter of grammar and taste vigilantes who spend their time policing other people’s tweets — celebrities and nobodies alike. These are people who build their own algorithms to sniff out Twitter messages that are distasteful to them — tweets with typos or flawed grammar, or written in ALLCAPS — and then send scolding notes to the offenders. They see themselves as the guardians of an emerging behavior code: Twetiquette....

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As George Carlin told it:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246641/quotes

What else is troubling me? Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! I don't give a shit! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. I don't do that, why, don't give a shit! Fuck Mickey Mouse! ... no wonder no one takes our country seriously, we waste valuable news time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAZE FROM THE KITTIES WHO USED TO SLEEP ON MY HEAD!

"It costs less!"--and does nothing...

Less Great! Tastes Filling!
...Hold on, let's try this again...

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-fi-lazarus8-2009nov08,0,5790321.column

"Perhaps the sole merit to the Republican reform plan is its price
tag -- $61 billion over 10 years. But considering that it does virtually
nothing to address current problems, and in some ways only makes those
problems worse, taxpayers might wonder what exactly they're paying
for."

-------------------------------------------

STAND UP FOR THE REAL HEALTH CARE VICTIMS!http://pol.moveon.org/insurance_execs/?id=17285-2061494-vQX8qwx&t=1&reloaded=1

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GIVE US THE PLAN THAT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE GIVES THEIR EMPLOYEES? IT COVERS ABORTIONS!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/29456

...According to several Cigna employees, the insurer offers its customers the opportunity to opt out of abortion coverage – and the RNC did not choose to opt out.
But rank and file Republicans said Thursday that the policy should – and would – be changed.
“We were not aware of this, obviously, and this will, of course, be fixed,” said James Bopp Jr., a Republican National Committeeman from Indiana. “I think Chairman Steele will see to it that that’s the case.”
Rep. Jack Kingston, a Georgia conservative, said “they need to drop that clause” from the policy or find a new one....

More...Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist

Victimized Venice Developer Lobbyist Sues State for not forcing the public to park in his boss's lots

http://argonautnewspaper.com/articles/2009/08/13/news_-_features/top_stories/2v.txt

--------------------------------

Here's a response I wrote back in 1997:

Let Them Eat Bricks

By Rex Frankel

Hello, and welcome to another edition of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist". I'm Robbing Leech, your guide.

Today we visit the famous Conformity Beach, in Veniceland, California. Road crews are out today on the beach, replacing loose designer bricks on the Platinum Pathway, formerly Ocean Front Walk. We're talking to self-appointed Venice spokesman Larson E. Whipsnade.

"Sure, cleaning up the beach has had its cost. It's no longer Free Venice, since we privatised the beach," Larson says, "But it's much trendier."

Whipsnade points at one of his muscle-bound private police. "Look at the cloth!" he gloats, pointing to his cops' new designer-uniforms. "And we use non-polluting paddywagons to haul off anyone without a beach-permit to our civil rights deprivation facility, like the poor and unknown artists and anyone else not paying rent to me. Also our police use non-lead bullets and their billy-clubs contain no tropical hardwoods. We're concerned about the environment!"

And to pay for this Whipsnade shows me his Beach-o-Meter cash collection system. Every performing artist's space on the ocean front has what is actually a parking meter needing coins every 15 minutes. Also all benches on the walk have meters, with rules enforced by the muscle-bound patrol. But Veniceland policy is "regulate people, not property", and so business is just booming at Whipsnade's strip of newly built ocean-front shopping malls.

"Yes, we are a business-friendly town," he says, "and without low-paying mall jobs, how can people pay rent?" Whipsnade then takes our camera to a meeting of the Veniceland Vacuum Committee, a group of yuppies who have dedicated themselves to a whiter, brighter and much richer Veniceland. Their leaders, who sell real estate for a living, can be seen each morning disinfecting sidewalks in poorer parts of town. Such spirit they have!

"The poor need a clean place to land after being evicted," says Dina Reagan, head vacuumer. "It's the least we can do. They're not canal ducks. They have some rights."

Well, there you have it in beautiful, diverse VeniceLand: businesspeople caring for the less fortunate. This is Robbing Leech saying goodbye until next week's show. We're off to Brentwood to show nice-guy Mayor Dick Riordan giving his money away to poorer politicians. What a caring guy.

We're off to the Lifestyles Video Van...Hey! Where's the van? It was parked right here on the street!

"Oh, sorry," says Whipsnade, "no permit, no parking! You should've taken the beach shuttle--only 10 bucks!"

Oh, well! This has been Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist. Bye-bye!