Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist

Khristmas at Kennebunkport
(Originally published in the Free Venice Beachhead, August 1991)

By Rex Frankel

"We're not just Nazi's--We're Nazi's that care!" went the victory cry at President Bush's 1992 Khristmas victory "bash". Operation Campaign Storm had been a huge success, even more so after Saddam Hussein endorsed the Democrat's candidate, Seymour Gribnitz. The other Democratic contenders all pulled out in the primaries, after the generally apolitical Gribnitz was endorsed by all 4 television networks. Many people called him a Stealth Democrat because his views were such a mystery before and during the campaign. His campaign slogan, "Vote for Me--I'll Figure Things Out" was nevertheless disquieting to veteran Demo's and elating to Republican power brokers, who rolled over Gribnitz with attacks on his ownership of a Japanese car, an unpaid parking ticket and overdue library books.

Alas, Dan Quayle was off at a book signing party for his third Nazi how-to guide, "101 Ways to Goosestep", and so he couldn't be at Der Fuhrer's side.

Following re-coronation, Herr Bush decreed as his first act the end of civil rights, saying they cost too much, and the only people who need civil rights are criminals anyways. Barbara Bush spent the winter enjoying her hubby's Christmas present to her: the deforestation of all of Northern California.

Meanwhile, Congress was earning far too much money to care how Bush fleeced the Fatherland during his 1st term, and looked the other way when Bush appointed his son, Neil, to run the FDIC. Neil promised to run the nation's banking system in a "prudent" manner, much the same way Neil had run his previous federally-insured business ventures. This fit Herr Bush's campaign slogan of "keep it in the family" to a T, and Bush went on to appoint nearly every adult member of the Bush family to high federal posts. Herr Bush also sought to keep family ties strong in the nation's poor families by introducing revised jail policies. From now on, the entire family goes to jail when one member commits or is entrapped into a crime.

But back to the party. Entertainment that night was the group with the "hit" video of 1991, Daryl and the Billy Clubs, doing "How to be Arrested". The rap group Republicans With an Attitude came next, rousing the crowd to ritual acts of politically correct violence. Finishing up the evening's fun were Sandra Day & the Extremes.

Following the entertainment, the crowd watched a ritual execution and burning of the Bill of Rights. All were ordered to have a good time, and did.

This is Robbing Leach signing off until next time.